Today, i went to help mindsville with the children's wing outing to watch Walking with Dinosaurs. I partnered X before for a recent walkathon. He requires a lot of hand holding and he has difficulties walking on his own. I usually try to ask him yes/no questions because his speech is impaired. When he saw me, he was smiling and waving happily. Before i knew it, he hobbled up to me and grabbed my hand. He paced around the waiting area and took me around, pointing at various objects, looking for my approval, then smiling and going along to another area. When it was time to board the bus, he went into the bus and patted the seat next to his. I suddenly remebered i left my ez link card at the security post and promised him i'd be back after going to retrieve it. When i got onto the bus, another helper was already sitting next to him, so when he saw me walk pass, i waved and made my way to the back to sit with jean.

When we alighted, X quickly grabbed hold of my hand again and we made our way into the indoor stadium. The stage set had scary-looking jaws protruding from the sides and the stadium was very dark. When we were just about to move down from the corridor into the stands, X suddenly grunted and jerked away. Despite gentle pursuasion from the teachers, jean and i, he was too scared of the dark and didn't want to sit in the stands. He agreed to stand above the seating area and watch the performance from there. I continued holding his hand and stood there with him while the rest went to take their seats. Rose tried to get him to hold other teachers' hands instead so i could sit down to enjoy the show, but he refused. I didn't mind, so i spent the next 2 hours of the performance holding his hand and standing beside him. One of my greatest fears was that thalassaemia minor would get the better of me since i'd have to stand for a very long time. I tried my best to get good blood circulation and although i felt slightly dizzy at times, thankfully, the episodes faded off quickly. As i held X's hands, i could feel his hands trembling slightly as the show started, and his grip tightening when the dinosaurs appeared and started roaring. The anxiety he felt might have been many times worse than whatever was on my mind. Sometimes, he'd make sudden noises, or beat his chest and smile at me (what he usually does, but i'm not sure what it means). The row of people sitting in front of us would turn back occassionally, and i'd just smile apologetically. Sometimes i did feel sorry that they had to put up with so much noise, but there were other times when i thought that it really wasn't anyone's fault.

The performance finally came to an end after what seemed like a jurasic period. We endured the 2 hours and our hands were very sweaty. I walked him back to the bus that came to pick the children up and i went off to the mrt station.

I reached home late after catching a movie with jasmine, andrew, rui quan and jean. I received a msg from rose just now saying how i made X feel special today. To be honest, it felt like the other way round. X made me feel special today because he chose me over his teachers. I know it sounds childish, but yeah.

Sadly, one day, he will have to be confined to a wheel chair. It makes me wonder why life is... What it is.